I used to cheque my phone 200+ times a day. No joke – I actually tracked it for a week and nearly threw up when I saw the number. Between work emails, kid school notifications, Instagram, Facebook, text messages, and whatever other digital chaos was pinging at me constantly, I was basically tethered to this little rectangle like it was life support. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t keeping me alive, it was slowly killing my sanity.
The breaking point came last spring when Lucas was telling me about something that happened at school – I can’t even remember what now, which makes me feel terrible – and I was simultaneously scrolling through my phone. He actually reached over and put his little hand on my screen to get my attention.
That’s when I realised I’d become one of those parents I used to judge. You know the ones.
After my divorce three years ago, I’d gotten pretty good at decluttering our physical space. Had to, really, when you’re cramming a house worth of stuff into 900 square feet. But somehow I’d completely ignored the digital clutter that was taking over my life. My phone had 47 different apps (yes, I counted), my email inbox had 12,000 unread messages, and I was following like 800 people on various social media platforms. Most of them I didn’t even remember following in the first place.
The thing about digital clutter is it’s sneaky. You can’t see it piling up in corners like physical stuff, but it’s there, constantly demanding your attention. Every notification is basically your phone saying “hey, look at me RIGHT NOW” and interrupting whatever you’re actually trying to do. Which in my case was usually something important, like helping Emma with homework or having an actual conversation with another human being.
I started what I guess you’d call digital minimalism, though I didn’t know there was a fancy term for it at the time. I just called it “getting my life back from my stupid phone.” First thing I did was turn off notifications for everything except actual phone calls and texts from people in my contacts. Everything else could wait. The world didn’t end when I stopped getting Instagram notifications every five minutes. Shocking, I know.
Then I went through my apps like I was Marie Kondo-ing my phone. That meditation app I downloaded six months ago and used exactly once? Gone. The seventeen different shopping apps that just made it easier to spend money I didn’t have? Deleted. The games I’d installed to keep the kids quiet in waiting rooms but nobody played anymore? Bye. I kept maybe twelve apps total, and honestly that still felt like too many.
Email was the worst. I had subscriptions to newsletters I’d signed up for years ago and never read, promotional emails from every store I’d ever bought anything from, and random stuff I couldn’t even identify. Spent an entire Saturday morning unsubscribing from everything. My finger was sore from all the clicking, but it was weirdly therapeutic. Like finally cleaning out that junk drawer that’s been driving you crazy for months.
Social media took some real honesty with myself. I was following my ex-husband’s new girlfriend (why??), people from high school I hadn’t talked to in twenty years and didn’t particularly like back then either, and about fifty different minimalism accounts that were ironically cluttering up my feed. Started unfollowing anyone whose posts made me feel bad about myself, bored, or annoyed. Turns out that was most people. My feed got really quiet really fast, and it was amazing.
The hardest part was setting boundaries with myself about when I’d cheque stuff. I used to grab my phone first thing in the morning and last thing at night, which meant I was starting and ending every day with other people’s problems, opinions, and drama. Now I don’t touch it until after I’ve had coffee and actually woken up, and I put it away an hour before bed. The kids noticed the difference immediately – suddenly mom was actually present during breakfast instead of scrolling through whatever crisis was trending that day.
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What’s funny is how much time I got back. Turns out when you’re not constantly checking social media, reading emails that don’t matter, and getting distracted by notifications every thirty seconds, you have hours more in your day. Hours I could spend actually talking to my kids, reading actual books (remember those?), or just sitting quietly without feeling like I needed to be consuming some form of digital content every waking moment.
The mental peace was the biggest surprise though. I didn’t realise how much background anxiety all that digital noise was creating until it stopped. When you’re constantly taking in information – news, social media posts, emails, messages – your brain never gets a break. It’s like having a TV on in every room of your house all the time. Even when you’re not actively watching, it’s still there, demanding little bits of your attention.
My kids were skeptical at first. Emma especially was worried I’d miss something important if I wasn’t checking my phone constantly. But we made a deal – if there’s actually an emergency at school, they’ll call, not email. If their dad needs to reach me about something urgent, he can text or call. Everything else can wait until I decide to cheque it, not when it decides to interrupt me.
The best part is I’m not missing anything important. Turns out most of what felt urgent wasn’t actually urgent at all. That email from their school about next month’s fundraiser? Still there when I cheque email at 2pm instead of 7am. My friend’s Facebook post about her lunch? Somehow my life continued just fine without seeing it immediately. Revolutionary stuff, right?
I’ve been doing this for about eight months now and honestly can’t imagine going back. My phone feels like a tool again instead of a demanding little dictator. I cheque email twice a day instead of every five minutes. I follow maybe fifty people total across all social media platforms, and only people whose content actually adds something positive to my day.
The kids have started doing it too, kind of. Emma deleted TikTok because she said it was making her feel bad about herself, which was probably the most mature thing any fourteen-year-old has ever said. Lucas never was much for screens anyway, but he’s noticed that mom is more fun when she’s not constantly distracted by her phone.
My ex thinks I’ve gone too far in the other direction, but then again he thought decluttering our physical space was too extreme too. Some people are just comfortable with chaos, I guess. But for me, having less digital clutter means less stress, more focus, and actually being present for my life instead of constantly documenting it or consuming other people’s versions of it.
The thing nobody tells you about digital minimalism is how good silence feels.
Not just quiet, but actual mental silence – not having constant input, not feeling like you need to have an opinion about everything happening everywhere all the time, not being available to every person who has your phone number at every moment of every day. It’s like your brain can finally exhale.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the digital noise in your life, start small. Turn off some notifications. Unsubscribe from email lists you don’t actually read. Delete apps you don’t use. You don’t have to go full hermit mode, just make your devices work for you instead of against you. Your mental health will thank you, and more importantly, so will the people who actually matter in your real, non-digital life.
Carl, an ardent advocate for sustainable living, contributes his extensive knowledge to Zero Emission Journey. With a professional background in environmental policy, he offers practical advice on reducing carbon footprints and living an eco-friendly lifestyle. His articles range from exploring renewable energy solutions to providing tips on sustainable travel and waste reduction. Carl’s passion for a greener planet is evident in his writing, inspiring readers to make impactful environmental choices in their daily lives.
